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Brat στο BDSM

Συζήτηση στο φόρουμ 'Κυριαρχία - υποταγή D/s' που ξεκίνησε από το μέλος Janine, στις 27 Φεβρουαρίου 2015.

  1. bumblebee

    bumblebee Contributor

    Συντροφε Βαρώνε θα πάρουμε τα ρίσκα μας. Θα σου πω σε κάνα δίμηνο       :        Δεν τα θέλω τα λεφτά σου. Την παρουσία σου, ίσως στο μέλλον, για κανα τρελό καυλοπαίχνιδο          :   ΜΕ πιάνεις ;;;   :       : 
     
  2. Baron Shamedi

    Baron Shamedi BDSM = Brain Dead Sorry Mate ?

    Αν δεν ειναι μπρατιδι, εχει λιγο νιονιο και δεν ειναι τελειως για τα μπαζα, με ενημερωνεις και τα συζηταμε. Παντως η προταση ισχυει, αν καταφερεις μπρατιδι, τα φραγκα εγω στα αφηνω, τι βαρωνος θα ημουν αν δεν τηρουσα το λογο μου;
    Μαλλον μπρατιδι θα ημουν κι εγω και ας μην ειμαι υ
     
  3. bumblebee

    bumblebee Contributor

    Βαρώνε, κράτα τα λεφτά σου. Στο μέλλον και αν στις υποχρέωσεις της (που δεν ειναι και τραγικές) είναι απείθαρχη θα μου λύσει μια απορία. Αν το σπέρμα από άντρα σε άντρα έχει άλλη γεύση          
     
  4. Πσς σκληρο
     
  5. íɑʍ_Monkeץ

    íɑʍ_Monkeץ Contributor

    "The Brat Sub - Problem or Symptom"?

    Taken from the BDSM site http://www.knotbound.com

    "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."~Albert Einstein

    How many times have we heard it? Someone either calling a submissive a brat or a submissivecalling him or herself a brat. But what does "bratty sub" really mean and is it necessarily a badthing?Brat can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. Most people who label themselves as bratty seeit as an endearing or positive quality. Most dominants who label a sub bratty see it as a muchless endearing quality. Why does one see it as cute and the other as frustrating? And even moreimportantly, why ARE subs bratty?What?Submissives who think bratty is okay appear to think of it as a way of showing their playfulpersonality or asserting their individuality. Certainly many submissives tend toward a bit of cheekiness, which is not quite the same as brattiness (not all dominants agree with thisstatement, so be careful in your cheekiness!). Sometimes the constraints of service anddiscipline can tend to flatten a submissive's personality to some extent. A bit of cheekiness canbe a way of expressing individuality. The line I draw between cheekiness and brattiness is theline where respect is lost and cheekiness becomes a form of defiance. Cheekiness is usually dropped the second a dominant shows annoyance. Brattiness continues past this line. A littlecheekiness in a submissive can be cute. Brattiness is simply embarrassing and annoying for thedominant.I have seen brattiness in most of its forms from mildly annoying behavior to full blown, in yourface, defiance. In my book, in all its forms, brattiness is a way of getting attention.Now this may seem obvious to many or one may argue that defiance is not a way of getting attention. Of course it is. It·s a negative way but it is still a valid way of getting attention.

    Yes, Isaid valid. I didn·t say it was a GOOD way. But it works. That·s why subs use it. That·s why it·svalid.Why?Submissives are attention sluts. All of us.

    I sometimes think dominants completely miss theboat on this. Dominants can get so wrapped up in the warm fuzzies from getting all that wonderful attention from their submissive that they fail to realise that most submissives arethere to get the same amount of attention back! Yes, I hate to burst the dominant bubble but most submissives aren·t in a D/s relationship to give unstintingly and unendingly to someoneelse with little or no reward. They actually want and expect to get back at least a large portion of the attention they give. As a dominant, think about that great blow job you got where she spent an hour or more stroking you, caressing you, teasing you with lips and tongue and you just laidback and sank into the wonderful sensations. At some point your submissive is probably expecting some lengthy interaction with you where your submissive is the complete focus of your attention, to even things out. It may or may not be sexual but it will be on par with theattention you·ve received.D/s is not a one way street. Submissives come into it and stay in it because we crave theattention a dominant can give us. There is nothing like it. It is addictive. It seduces us like a drug. When denied too long the craving eats at us. We NEED it. We will beg, we will crawl, wewill give blow jobs for a month. And we will be the biggest brats in the world if necessar y.Anything, to get that attention.When?

    A funny thing happens when dominants are happy or content. They often tend to turn theirattention elsewhere, away from the person creating that contentment. This can be most annoying to their submissive. For example, the submissive has just spent the last several hoursspit polishing Mistress· boots only to have Mistress say, "I·ve been watching that boy over there.I think I·ll go see if he will play with me". At this point the submissive has several options. Th esubmissive can simply say "Yes, Ma·am" and fade into the background to nurse his or her ownneeds and hope Mistress will still have time and attention for her own submissive later. Thesubmissive can crawl to the Mistress· feet and beg for play for his or herself. Or the submissivecan enter brat mode and start to misbehave. Now if the Mistress cares at all about bratty behaviour, she knows she will have to deal with this right now. And the sub is suddenly thefocus of all Mistress· attention. Okay, it·s negative attention but it·s still attention!Don't get me wrong. I am not advocating this behaviour. At its best it·s a cute little behaviourthat Master adores and encourages in small ways. At its worst it can destroy a D/s relationshipand leave both parties feeling acrimonious toward each other.How?So, what can dominants and submissives do about brattiness?First, each must make a decision whether they actually want the behaviour to change.

    Submissives sometimes enter into new relationships having learned bratty behaviour in a previous one. It worked then and they assume it will work now. Unless they are given a goodreason for changing their behaviour, they may not want to. Without that desire on both sides,any solutions are most likely to fail.Finding and implementing a solution can actually be more challenging for the dominant thanthe submissive. If asked, most dominants would quickly respond that yes, of course they want bratty behaviour to change. Who wants a bratty sub? But to change brattiness in any permanent way, the dynamics of the relationship must change.

    Punishment alone will not changebrattiness. Neither will ignoring brattiness be effective if this is overused as a tool. Brattiness isgenerally a symptom of a problem rather than a problem in and of itself. The underlying reasons for bratty behaviour need to be dealt with and addressed.Few submissives start out as bratty. Brattiness is more often a learned behaviour. Submissiveslearn it because it is effective in getting their needs met. If you are a dominant who has a bratty submissive try asking yourself these questions:Was your submissive bratty when you first started a D/s relationship together?If not, when did your submissive first start to show signs of brattiness?If yes, did you find it endearing at the time and subtly encourage it?Under what circumstances does your submissive become bratty?What tools, if any, do you use to control brattiness?Do these tools actually provide the submissive any kind of reward (attention, pain play, etc) forbratty behaviour?Have you ever asked your submissive in a serious manner if they WANT to be a bratty suband listened closely to the answer?Have you ever asked your submissive what might help him or her to NOT be bratty or why they are being bratty in the first place?Do you ensure your submissives needs are met to the same level as your own?Do you stay aware and conscious of your submissives needs and desires to the same level that you expect your submissive to stay conscious of your own needs and desires?ConclusionBrattiness is often a submissive's way of saying something is wrong in the relationship dynamic.Few submissives want to be bratty (I can·t think of any I personally know, actually).

    If therelationship has been unequal for a long period of time, sometimes submissives will say they don·t care anymore. This is a time for a dominant to take note. Something is seriously wrong here. If you really are dedicated to eradicating brattiness from your relationship, perhaps it·stime to stop and communicate on a deeper level. Find out what is triggering the bratty episodes.Put in place solutions that work for the submissive as well as the dominant. Remove the needfor the brattiness in the first place and you may be surprised at what a well behaved, devotedsubmissive you have in your care, eager to do your bidding.In my opening statement I asked the question, is brattiness necessarily a bad thing? Bratty behaviour can be used as an indicator of the emotional health of a D/s relationship. In thiscontext it can be seen by the dominant as a sign that he or she needs to open communicationwith the submissive. So while brattiness may not be a "good" thing, it can be viewed as a valuable relationship indicator for the serious dominant.



    ( http://www.scribd.com/doc/51476645/The-Brat-Sub )


    p.s : Mε φώναξε κανείς;;;

    I luv, bratty subs <x>
     
  6. bumblebee

    bumblebee Contributor

    Δωσε πρακτικά παραδείγματα. Σενάρια. Εχω πρόβλημα να ξεχωρίσω το bdsm από την πραγματικότητα        
     
  7. MasterJp

    MasterJp Advisor Staff Member In Loving Memory

    Σε γενικές γραμμές συμφωνώ με τους προσκολλήσατεw. Απευκτέα κατηγορία, κουραστική, με συνήθως πενιχρά αποτελέσματα συμμόρφωσης. Ενίοτε υποδιαιρούνται σε "make me" subs και σε SAMs (Smart Ass Masochists). Οι τελευταίες μπορούν να προσφέρουν όντως ευχάριστα sessions, λόγω υψηλών αντοχών. Πιθανολογώ πως η dark explorer αναφέρεται σε αυτή ή κάποια συγγενή κατηγορία. Συχνά στα καθ' ημάς θεωρούν εαυτούς "περήφανα άτια" και κάνουν ότι περνάει από το χέρι της για να αποδείξουν του λόγου το αληθές. Η σχέση τους με την λογική είναι συχνά ανύπαρκτη, τους ενδιαφέρει αυτό που θέλουν θέλουν θέλουν και τίποτε περισσότερο. Ουδεμία σχέση με τις "playful submissives". Μπορεί κάποιος να τις "σπάσει" με πραγματικά βαρύ S/m, αλλά ποιό το νόημα; Όποιος ψάχνει θηριοδαμαστή ας απευθυνθεί σε τσίρκο.
     
    Last edited: 27 Φεβρουαρίου 2015
  8. Dark_Explorer

    Dark_Explorer Κλωθώ: ἄτρακτον στρέφειν Contributor

    Αχμ, μήπως να διορθώνατε ολίγον τη σύνταξη; Κάτι λείπει. Ένα ρήμα.
     
  9. íɑʍ_Monkeץ

    íɑʍ_Monkeץ Contributor

    a) Ποια η διαφορά;;;
    b) ναι, το έχω βιώσει, όλα μα όλα γίνονται και είναι εφικτό.

    <x>
     
  10. MasterJp

    MasterJp Advisor Staff Member In Loving Memory

  11. MasterJp

    MasterJp Advisor Staff Member In Loving Memory

    @Madeleine Rk : Προσδιορίστε σε τι ακριβώς αναφέρονται οι ερωτήσεις σας αν όντως επιθυμείτε ν' απαντηθούν.
     
  12. íɑʍ_Monkeץ

    íɑʍ_Monkeץ Contributor

    a) Ποια η διαφορά των brat από τις ''playful submissives" ;

    b) Μπορεί κάποιος να τις "σπάσει" με πραγματικά βαρύ S/m, αλλά ποιό το νόημα;

    Aπάντησα για το b) , στο προηγούμενο πόστ #21