ஐHappy Valentine's Dayஐ

The Best Valentine's Day Horrors

Though February is also known for being Black History Month and Women in Horror Month, most of us first grew up with the notion of it being centered around all things lovey-dovey and romantic, thanks to Valentine’s Day.

And whether you love or hate the nearly inescapable holiday, there’s plenty of romance themed horror out there to keep us fright fiends happy, from twisted love stories to killer couples. Be mine?

My Bloody Valentine

Clearly, the reigning Valentine’s Day horror flick, this holiday slasher follows a pick-ax wielding miner who besieges his hometown of Valentine Bluffs. Created from a tragedy decades ago, the mad miner is determined to make the town remember its past sins. Unashamedly cheesy, it’s no wonder this is a fan favorite. The remake, My Bloody Valentine 3D, is a fun time too, but if we’re being honest, it was a horror best seen once and only on the big screen in “appreciable” 3D quality.

Quickest way to her heart is a pick-ax.
Quickest way to her heart is a pick-ax.
The Loved Ones

I didn’t care for this girl-kidnaps-boy torture story, but most everyone else does and I suppose that’s enough reason for an inclusion on this list. If anything, it might just make you remember that one kid you turned down at prom... Or it might give you some ideas about the one who turned you down.

Be mine?
Be mine?
Bram Stoker’s Dracula

Stylish. Seductive. Scary. This take on the classic vampire story also comes with an all-star cast and award caliber costume and design. One of the rare horror films to not only make it to the Academy Awards, but to even win some nominations!

That moment when your date shows up wearing this.
That moment when your date shows up wearing this.
Kiss the Girls

You can argue that this isn’t technically horror, but I disagree. A criminal thriller, yes, but it follows a detective and woman caught in a fight against not one, but two sensual serial killers; one called The Gentleman Caller, the other Casanova. How romantic!

Kidnapping women is a bad first impression.
Kidnapping women is a bad first impression.
Love Object

A slow, but deliciously strange and uncomfortable movie about a shy guy who starts a relationship with a life-sized sex doll. When a real girl comes into his life though, that relationship is tested and the consequences are disturbing, to say the least.

Date Tip #8: Be a good conversationalist.
Date Tip #8: Be a good conversationalist.
High Tension

Most horror fans either love or hate this movie, mostly because of the “surprise” ending. I side with those who loved it. The modern French slasher follows a young woman who survives a violent home invasion, but must then tail the killer in order to save the kidnapped friend she so clearly desires. Love hurts, indeed.

This isn't "light bondage".
This isn't "light bondage".
Bride of Chucky

In the mood for some blood and laughs? This is the one for you. Expanding on the Child’s Play mythology, we’re introduced not only to a resurrected Chucky, but his just as deadly gal Tiffany, who knows a thing or two about love herself. “My mother always said love was supposed set you free. But that’s not true, Chucky. I’ve been a prisoner of my love for you for a very long time.”



Preach.
Preach.
All the Boys Love Mandy Lane

A modern slasher that tried to rely on a few new “twists”, this film is not without its faults and plot holes (see my review here: https://midnightmoviegay.wordpress.com/2014/08/12/where-mandy-lane-went-wrong/ ). But it’s still a fairly good horror and one of the better ones out there about the darkness of obsession and desire.

Love Hurts.
Love Hurts.
Valentine

Probably the most well known Valentine’s Day horror, besides MBV, this slasher too only succeeds because it realizes how cheesy and ridiculous it is and just doesn’t care. It’s essentially the perfect pizza/popcorn movie if you choose to celebrate the night in with your creepy boo thang. Trivia: The movie is actually based on the thriller novel by Tom Savage.

Aw, look, it's Cupid.
Aw, look, it's Cupid.
Happy Valentine’s Day!


 

 

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